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Text Box: Chillicothe Masonic Bodies 57 East Main Street Chillicothe, Ohio 45601

Text Box: U.S. Postage PAID PRSTD STD Chillicothe, OH Permit #47

Text Box: HOW TO CALL THE POLICE
George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said "no". Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available. George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again. "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot them all." Then he hung up. Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips residence. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed. One of the Policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" George said, "I thought you said there was nobody

Text Box: What A Wonderful Husband"
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings & a man engages the hands-free speaker function & begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: "Hello" WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" MAN: "Yes" WOMAN: "I'm at the mall & I found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much." WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2005 models. I saw one I really liked." MAN: "How much?" WOMAN: "$65,000." MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options." WOMAN: "Great! Oh, one more thing, The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000." MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000." WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!" MAN: "Bye, I love you, too." The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then he smiles and asks "Anyone know whose phone this is?"

Text Box: I OWE MY MOTHER 1. My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me religion. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about time travel. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week. 4. My mother taught me logic. " Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me more logic. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."